There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
