When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize