I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
