bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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