Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
please don't ironically join a cult
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