i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
