Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
