yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
