whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
