Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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