He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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