I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
