He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
