I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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