so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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