I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
