Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
