Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
