so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
