Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
