so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
