I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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