So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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