marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
