Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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