im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
