I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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