So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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