you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
