how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
