Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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