Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
