Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize