Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
