You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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