sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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