I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
