like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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