Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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