We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
