its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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