I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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