I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
