i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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