the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
