I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
