Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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