can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize