so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize