So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
