so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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