I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
