I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
