Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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