The maid of honor just puked.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
