My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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