Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
