how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's not a foreskin expert like you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
