i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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