its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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