I heard we made out
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
