I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
