Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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