If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
