I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
