I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
