for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Alive.
So much puke
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
