saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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