he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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